Merlin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
youjustgot) wrote2023-05-02 12:58 am
youjustgot) wrote2023-05-02 12:58 am
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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, MERLIN. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 135.18.129.14 *** Merlin has joined 135.18.129.14 <merlinofcourse> ⌁˚⊹ You have reached Prince Merlin ⊹˚⌁ <merlinofcourse> I know how to use computers now~ | ||||
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[As nervous as he was for that first half second—because why WOULD Maya need to talk about her—Merlin perks up instantly. Especially now that she's confirmed that this won't be about his depressing love life. No, instead he gets to stick his nose in someone else's!
And that's always fun.]
Well, lucky for you, I am a full time romantic.
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Exactly! I knew you were the man to talk to!
You can help me out!
[Since they're out of range of anyone else in the bar, of course, she lets him know immediately;]
Hanna told me the other day that he has a crush on me!
[.................As if this is news to everyone.]
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[No kidding, even Merlin could see the very obvious signs, and he's only been here three months! But after catching the two cuddling in a graveyard of all places, it's hard to think Hanna's intentions were anything but platonic. Good for him, Merlin's so used to his friends being way too open about their feelings, it'd be nice to have Hanna more on his level.
He chuckles to himself, ...but suddenly finds he has to cut it short when realization hits. The playfulness in his eyes quickly turns to that of worry.]
Oh, but...you didn't follow that with a "And now we're totally dating!" [Complete with jazz hands and his best "girl voice."] Did you turn him down?
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Wh— no! I mean, I didn't turn him down, I just asked him to let me think about it!
Which isn't turning someone down!
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No...no, it sure isn't...
[Poor Hanna. Depending on how long ago this was, he can bet the kelpie has had some very sleepless nights. Of course, he doesn't want to guilt Maya into coming up with an answer sooner, but....oof. He'll have to have a good laugh with Hanna later.]
So then! [CLAP.] You've decided to come think it out with me? Well don't I feel honored. Let's see....
[He looks around, tut, tut, tutting to himself.]
...maybe it'd be better if we found a place to sit down first.
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[She mentions, already stepping in that direction, arms crossed and deep in thought already. her little demon tail curls and coils over itself as if to keep her busy while her thoughts race. The office isn't that far off though, and so of course she opens the door and strides in and lets Merlin follow. Once inside she takes her usual place where she sits on that big ol' desk, but she still can't seem to stay still, looking around at everything in the room as if something in it is going to jump out and give her an answer.]
I just figured since you're such a romantic... and Hanna's best friend, you could probably help.
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Even the way Maya so confidently proclaims him Hanna's best friend brings a warmth to his cheeks. Again, it's only been a few months, but even she can see how close their friendship has become. It's....nice. This hell could have been far more hellish without people to lean on.]
Well I'll certainly try, but I can't exactly help if I don't know what the problem is~ Are you unsure about Hanna? I can vouch for his character, if that's your concern.
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[It's not a competition, Maya—]
I know he's great. And I guess if we were dating, that would be great too! Cos it would just be all the same stuff we do now, but... better, right?
[Still, she seems unsure, continuing to strike that thoughtful pose.]
But I guess that's the whole problem. Like— last year, I was married to someone. And now he's not here. ANd now I'm doing all the same things I used to do with him... with someone else. And that someone else is like, a really good guy!
[...You know, usually Merlin and Hanna are the type to go on ramblings like this. It's pretty unusual for Maya. It's easier, too, to maintain her composure when having a text conversation with say, Lup, about this, rather than being in person. Now that she can just voice the first thought that comes out of her head? She's kind of following the boys's lead.]
So, does that mean I really like Hanna? Or am I just doing this stuff with him cos I miss Dandy? How do you know if you're really into somebody ifyou like a lot of people? And if I like him, what if he disappears too? What if I end up here forever and ever and people keep leaving and I just become a lonely old monster lady?!
[Maya puts her hands upt to her head, stressed, as she voices—]
Am I gonna turn into a mean old lady like Oldbag?!
[...somehow this is probably not the problem]
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What kind of name is Dandy?
...What kind of name is Oldbag?
The more Merlin spends time with these people, the more the future sounds like something he doesn't want to be a part of. Names get weird, lamps run on lightning, people fill their vehicles with liquid dinosaur, it's all so...awful.
Thankfully, romance stays the same.]
I think... [He doesn't WANT to be a rambling mess for this answer, so he pauses, wagging his finger as he tries to piece together the best words for his thoughts.] ...in a world like this, especially in a world like this, that the one thing you shouldn't do...is hold back your affection if you think they're going to disappear one day.
[Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.]
If anything, it sounds like you should go for it as soon as you can, so you can be sure you get the most out of your time together.
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...I know you're right...
[IT's about the same sentiment she gave to Lup, after all.]
But... isn't it more complicated than that?
[Can it really just be that easy? Can she really just say this is fine? She stares down at her hands, toying with her little claws.]
I don't want to hurt Hanna even if I am a demon, you know.
How did you know what you felt for Snow White was real?
[And not just, you know, a symptom of his circumstances—]
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[..............wait, no that sounds super creepy out of context, what the hell.]
N-Not that I made her unconscious with the purpose of throwing her into my bed. I'm not some sort of weirdo. You see, she broke into our house. ...and we may have...attacked her...
[...is...is that better? He sits there, pursing his lips, wondering if that's better.]
...I mean, it wasn't ME, it was definitely, mostly Hans. All Hans. And, like, he might SAY he was just....following...my orders, BUT that's only because I didn't SEE the intruder and I tried to stop him once everything was cleared up. Alas, no one can stop his lust for blood...
...
[Oh lord, he's so far off track, he's practically in the ocean. This isn't romantic IN THE SLIGHTEST and Merlin stares at Maya, sweating bullets and drumming his fingers on his lap.
For a whole minute or two, he's silent.]
...it was love at first sight.
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Until she scrunches her brow, and asks;]
...So you mean, you just thought she was pretty?
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I mean...I didn't just think that, but I suppose at the time...I did...since we didn't exactly have any conversations at that point. But there's definitely more to it, it was a whole thing, I swear I-
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No...no, I suppose I noticed it was real when I realized I had never met someone who made me feel so good about myself. She saw someone kind in me, even while I was at THE lowest point in my life, and never once tried to make me feel bad for it. I knew...I knew I had to have her in my life. Always. I wanted to feel like that all the time, and I could only hope I made her feel the same.
...But I suppose I'll never know that now.
[He lost that opportunity, to spend the rest of his life with someone who only ever wanted to lift him up. Who thought he was funny and cute even while he was being a brat. He'll never get that back while he's here, he had to come up with a whole new catchphrase just to get a smidge of the kindness Snow has shown him. At least...he never wasted their time together...he's so glad he got the opportunity to have that wedding...and yet...]
Maya...if you do care for Hanna at all, you really should let him know. In the end, holding back doesn't help anyone, not in a world like this.
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And for that sweet, short moment, Maya finds herself falling a little in love with Merlin as well. And that's it, isn't it? That's what she loves about people, isn't it? That's when she knew Dandy's love for her was as deep as it could be— when he spoke about Catherine with this adoring ache in his voice and still looked at her as though she was another star in the sky?]
...I think I know. Not about Hanna, I mean.
[Because of course she knows about Hanna— but that's not what she's getting at. She smiles her own sweet little smile at Merlin, bracing her palms against the desk and letting herself sink relaxedly into her own shoulders. It's strange, how even a demon's eyes can look soft, if they try.]
I know she must have loved you.
[And now... she knows what she has to do, to understand her feelings about Hanna.]
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He nods and finds himself wiping his eyes with his palm when he feels a familiar wetness well up. Dammit, it's nowhere near crying time and he's not about to do it at work, in the office.
Still, his heart aches when he hears Maya's words. He has no doubt Snow loved him, the curse probably wouldn't have broke if she didn't. No, instead he worries he never got a chance to make HER feel nearly as loved as she made him feel in their short time together. He had so much love to give, just ready to pour out, and now he just feels...clogged. Where is it all supposed to go? It's like constantly living like you have a word at the tip of your tongue, but the person you want to say it to isn't here to hear it. Wasted. Squandered.
It's a terrible feeling, he wouldn't wish it on anyone. He wonders...maybe this is how Maya feels about her husband... He can't think of anyone better than Hanna to take up that role, he'd be so gentle with her words.]
Right, right... [His voice wobbles just a bit.] I think... I think I just need to be alone tonight, if that's alright. Go ahead without me. I'll just...stay in Bavan for the night. Not, like, in the city, but under a tree in the park somewhere...or whatever it is nymphs do.
[He wastes no time to excuse himself, getting up and heading for the door. Maya and Hanna will probably appreciate the alone time, too, to get their feelings in order. It really benefits everyone, when you think about it.]
Good luck with Hanna, I'll be rooting for you two.
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Luckily for him, she isn't here to stop him or make fun of him or anything like that. Rather, she reaches for his wrist so that she can press something into his palm; a pearl bracelet with a pair of keys on it.]
If you get scared or you remember that trees totally suck as beds... Come back here and spend the night with Little Miss, okay?
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Merlin clears his throat, taking the key and nodding gratefully.]
Heh, right, t-thank you. I'm sure the car noise will get to me before the trees do. Word of advise, never diss trees to a nymph. Honestly, you'd think that'd be obvious.
[Of course he gives the most playful of winks.]
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Well, I have to make sure you don't fall for my charms now, don't I?
[Her smile spreads wide, and before Merlin can do anything else, she steps forward to give him a hug— extra squeezy, but not too much, of course.]