youjustgot | IC Inbox

[If Merlin expected that he would always be undisturbed in Nai'a's changing room, he relaly hasn't been paying attention. Now that they've turned back into theri normal selves— or at least, intentional temporary selves, in Maya's place— Maya's got less of a compulsion to stay true to her word with Merlin... and in any case, she wouldn't consider bamfing herself up to sit on the locker beside the one he's using would be teasing or being mean.

So that's exactly what she does while the poor guy is changing out of his uniform shirt, as unconcerned with anyone's potential-to-relative-nudity as she was when they were all cute little animals taking a bath.]

Hey! You don't seem busy.

[You know, he really misses Maya's pooka brain, because for the first time since arriving here, it finally felt like she was doing nice things for him. Liiiiiike respecting his space. This??? THIS IS NOT RESPECTING HIS SPACE. This is...literally the opposite of that!]

I'm busy getting dressed.

[He hisses as he grabs his dress shirt and drapes it around him to get the privacy he THOUGHT he had. Although there isn't much to hide other than...plants, he still has weird vine growths on his back he'd rather people weren't staring at. They're not nearly as pretty as all the flowers, let's just leave it at that.]

It takes me...what? Two minutes to put a shirt on and you can't even wait for that...

Well, I didn't know you change clothes so slow!

I wanted to talk while we were in here, anyway.

[Though, it isn't like it matters; Hanna's not at work today, anyway. Look— he was slipping all over the place when he got two horse legs, and now that he's stuck with four for... however long it takes him to figure out how to change back, Maya isn't exactly arguing with him on his opinion that he ought to.... not be a Horse Man in a bar.

And as she remembers, she says aloud;]

Oh... I guess I could have waited until we're back in the van though, huh.

Well of course I change slowly, I'm covered in delicate plants. Have you seen my arms? I can feel these things you know, and they make sleeves.......weird.

[BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT, he'll come out of his dressing room, straightening his shirt and avoiding eye contact.]

I'm willing to listen if you can give me an apology.

Apology?

[She squints.]

For— scaring you?

[Alright, well NOW he'll make eye contact.]

Seriously? For peeking into my dressing room!!

[It's... Pretty clear by the look on her face she's struggling to see why he's so offended, but she knows better by now than to argue with him on it.

If Merlin's uncomfortable, he's uncomfortable.

She drops down to her feet in front of him, hands behind her back, and—]

Well, sorry.

...If it helps, I think you look really pretty under there.

[She punctuates 'there' by tugging on his collar just a little, but... she seems pretty genuine about it, all the same.]

[Merlin's hand is quick to fly up and block any further tugging. He's satisfied that he got an apology out of the magnificent Maya Fey, but he still doesn't look too amused. He knows...or at least hopes this is just the demon brain in her, it's the only thing that allows him to give her a pass. He'd be much angrier otherwise, he's not a cute little puppy anymore! Privacy means something again-]

I look pretty under anything, thanks. That still doesn't give you permission to take peeks at me. I reserve that right to my wife.

[At least ask first, dang.]

...So what did you want to talk about?

[Ah, but that at least connects the dots for her. So his dog body wasn't the one whose view was reserved for his wife, but this one is. She can understand that very simply. ...Unfortunately for him the connection probably would have been even harder for her to make as a mermaid, when she very most believes her own body is both meant to be on display and simultaneously Perfectly Sexy and Sexless all at once, but hey. It won't be a worry once she's a mermaid again, since she's getting it now.]

Actually, it's funny you mention her! Well, not that I'm gonna ask about her specifically, or anything, it's more like, the concept, you know?

[As if she realizes immediately just how stupid and unhelpful that sounded, Maya elaborates immediately—]

I need to ask you about romance!

Oh!

[As nervous as he was for that first half second—because why WOULD Maya need to talk about her—Merlin perks up instantly. Especially now that she's confirmed that this won't be about his depressing love life. No, instead he gets to stick his nose in someone else's!

And that's always fun.]

Well, lucky for you, I am a full time romantic.

[Instead of her usual prayer hands, Maya plants her fist in her palm in affirmation.]

Exactly! I knew you were the man to talk to!

You can help me out!

[Since they're out of range of anyone else in the bar, of course, she lets him know immediately;]

Hanna told me the other day that he has a crush on me!

[.................As if this is news to everyone.]

Oh ho~! I was wondering if he'd ever come clean about that.

[No kidding, even Merlin could see the very obvious signs, and he's only been here three months! But after catching the two cuddling in a graveyard of all places, it's hard to think Hanna's intentions were anything but platonic. Good for him, Merlin's so used to his friends being way too open about their feelings, it'd be nice to have Hanna more on his level.

He chuckles to himself, ...but suddenly finds he has to cut it short when realization hits. The playfulness in his eyes quickly turns to that of worry.]

Oh, but...you didn't follow that with a "And now we're totally dating!" [Complete with jazz hands and his best "girl voice."] Did you turn him down?

[Maya's eyes widen for a moment as she realizes— Merlin knew? When she didn't??— but then just as quickly as Merlin's expression changes, so does hers.]

Wh— no! I mean, I didn't turn him down, I just asked him to let me think about it!

Which isn't turning someone down!

[At that, Merlin stifles a laugh. Give him credit, he's composing himself as best as he can right now.]

No...no, it sure isn't...

[Poor Hanna. Depending on how long ago this was, he can bet the kelpie has had some very sleepless nights. Of course, he doesn't want to guilt Maya into coming up with an answer sooner, but....oof. He'll have to have a good laugh with Hanna later.]

So then! [CLAP.] You've decided to come think it out with me? Well don't I feel honored. Let's see....

[He looks around, tut, tut, tutting to himself.]

...maybe it'd be better if we found a place to sit down first.

Well, we can always go to the office...

[She mentions, already stepping in that direction, arms crossed and deep in thought already. her little demon tail curls and coils over itself as if to keep her busy while her thoughts race. The office isn't that far off though, and so of course she opens the door and strides in and lets Merlin follow. Once inside she takes her usual place where she sits on that big ol' desk, but she still can't seem to stay still, looking around at everything in the room as if something in it is going to jump out and give her an answer.]

I just figured since you're such a romantic... and Hanna's best friend, you could probably help.

[Ah, the office, where everything sort of began. Merlin remembers his first night here, taking a seat at the rather uncomfortable sofa he remembers sleeping on. To think at one point he came crawling in, begging to live here. He can't even imagine that now as he starts to rub the upholstery, things were so uncertain back then. He's so glad that in his short stay in Ryslig, he's been able to find a living situation so...surprisingly comfortable.

Even the way Maya so confidently proclaims him Hanna's best friend brings a warmth to his cheeks. Again, it's only been a few months, but even she can see how close their friendship has become. It's....nice. This hell could have been far more hellish without people to lean on.]

Well I'll certainly try, but I can't exactly help if I don't know what the problem is~ Are you unsure about Hanna? I can vouch for his character, if that's your concern.

Um... no, that's not it. I've known him a little longer than you have, remember?

[It's not a competition, Maya—]

I know he's great. And I guess if we were dating, that would be great too! Cos it would just be all the same stuff we do now, but... better, right?

[Still, she seems unsure, continuing to strike that thoughtful pose.]

But I guess that's the whole problem. Like— last year, I was married to someone. And now he's not here. ANd now I'm doing all the same things I used to do with him... with someone else. And that someone else is like, a really good guy!

[...You know, usually Merlin and Hanna are the type to go on ramblings like this. It's pretty unusual for Maya. It's easier, too, to maintain her composure when having a text conversation with say, Lup, about this, rather than being in person. Now that she can just voice the first thought that comes out of her head? She's kind of following the boys's lead.]

So, does that mean I really like Hanna? Or am I just doing this stuff with him cos I miss Dandy? How do you know if you're really into somebody ifyou like a lot of people? And if I like him, what if he disappears too? What if I end up here forever and ever and people keep leaving and I just become a lonely old monster lady?!

[Maya puts her hands upt to her head, stressed, as she voices—]

Am I gonna turn into a mean old lady like Oldbag?!

[...somehow this is probably not the problem]

[There's so much to unpack here.

What kind of name is Dandy?

...What kind of name is Oldbag?

The more Merlin spends time with these people, the more the future sounds like something he doesn't want to be a part of. Names get weird, lamps run on lightning, people fill their vehicles with liquid dinosaur, it's all so...awful.

Thankfully, romance stays the same.]

I think... [He doesn't WANT to be a rambling mess for this answer, so he pauses, wagging his finger as he tries to piece together the best words for his thoughts.] ...in a world like this, especially in a world like this, that the one thing you shouldn't do...is hold back your affection if you think they're going to disappear one day.

[Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.]

If anything, it sounds like you should go for it as soon as you can, so you can be sure you get the most out of your time together.

[Luckily for the both of them, Merlin not sounding like a rambling mess helps Maya remember that she is, in fact, having a conversation and not talking to herself about this. She puts her hands very dutifully in her lap while she listens to him, and her shoulders fall a little.]

...I know you're right...

[IT's about the same sentiment she gave to Lup, after all.]

But... isn't it more complicated than that?

[Can it really just be that easy? Can she really just say this is fine? She stares down at her hands, toying with her little claws.]

I don't want to hurt Hanna even if I am a demon, you know.

How did you know what you felt for Snow White was real?

[And not just, you know, a symptom of his circumstances—]

Edited (she'd use the whole name) 2023-07-24 22:36 (UTC)

How did I know? [Yeesh, what a question.] I don't know...it's not like I go around faking my feelings...I suppose I always knew. Yes...I'd say it was love at first sight as I watched her unconscious body rest in my bed.

[..............wait, no that sounds super creepy out of context, what the hell.]

N-Not that I made her unconscious with the purpose of throwing her into my bed. I'm not some sort of weirdo. You see, she broke into our house. ...and we may have...attacked her...

[...is...is that better? He sits there, pursing his lips, wondering if that's better.]

...I mean, it wasn't ME, it was definitely, mostly Hans. All Hans. And, like, he might SAY he was just....following...my orders, BUT that's only because I didn't SEE the intruder and I tried to stop him once everything was cleared up. Alas, no one can stop his lust for blood...

...

[Oh lord, he's so far off track, he's practically in the ocean. This isn't romantic IN THE SLIGHTEST and Merlin stares at Maya, sweating bullets and drumming his fingers on his lap.

For a whole minute or two, he's silent.]

...it was love at first sight.

[To both their credit, Maya spends the whole time nodding with her hand over her mouth. She is not supposed to tease him, okay, and she is trying so Hard. Maya just. Keeps nodding during that silent minute, staring back at him, and nods even harder when he says it was love at first sight.

Until she scrunches her brow, and asks;]

...So you mean, you just thought she was pretty?

[WOW, called the fuck out. Merlin flinches at what feels more like an accusation than just an observation and once again tries to save face.]

I mean...I didn't just think that, but I suppose at the time...I did...since we didn't exactly have any conversations at that point. But there's definitely more to it, it was a whole thing, I swear I-

[And he stops, realizing that it...it couldn't possibly be love at first sight, because he had "fallen" for a disguise. The REAL Snow was much more than a monument to his superficial beliefs on beauty, she was a person who cared so deeply and made him feel so good. She wasn't someone he HAD to say "Please be nice to me" to because she always was.]

No...no, I suppose I noticed it was real when I realized I had never met someone who made me feel so good about myself. She saw someone kind in me, even while I was at THE lowest point in my life, and never once tried to make me feel bad for it. I knew...I knew I had to have her in my life. Always. I wanted to feel like that all the time, and I could only hope I made her feel the same.

...But I suppose I'll never know that now.

[He lost that opportunity, to spend the rest of his life with someone who only ever wanted to lift him up. Who thought he was funny and cute even while he was being a brat. He'll never get that back while he's here, he had to come up with a whole new catchphrase just to get a smidge of the kindness Snow has shown him. At least...he never wasted their time together...he's so glad he got the opportunity to have that wedding...and yet...]

Maya...if you do care for Hanna at all, you really should let him know. In the end, holding back doesn't help anyone, not in a world like this.

[What Merlin says... helps her more than probably either of them realize. When Merlin speaks about Snow White in that way, it's with this look in his face and this sound in his voice that Maya recognizes. It's soft, the way Dandy spoke about Catherine. It's warm, the way Lup spoke about Ianthe. It's the same look in his eyes that Fidds has regarding Marco in the simplest of times.

And for that sweet, short moment, Maya finds herself falling a little in love with Merlin as well. And that's it, isn't it? That's what she loves about people, isn't it? That's when she knew Dandy's love for her was as deep as it could be— when he spoke about Catherine with this adoring ache in his voice and still looked at her as though she was another star in the sky?]

...I think I know. Not about Hanna, I mean.

[Because of course she knows about Hanna— but that's not what she's getting at. She smiles her own sweet little smile at Merlin, bracing her palms against the desk and letting herself sink relaxedly into her own shoulders. It's strange, how even a demon's eyes can look soft, if they try.]

I know she must have loved you.

[And now... she knows what she has to do, to understand her feelings about Hanna.]

[Merlin nods.

He nods and finds himself wiping his eyes with his palm when he feels a familiar wetness well up. Dammit, it's nowhere near crying time and he's not about to do it at work, in the office.

Still, his heart aches when he hears Maya's words. He has no doubt Snow loved him, the curse probably wouldn't have broke if she didn't. No, instead he worries he never got a chance to make HER feel nearly as loved as she made him feel in their short time together. He had so much love to give, just ready to pour out, and now he just feels...clogged. Where is it all supposed to go? It's like constantly living like you have a word at the tip of your tongue, but the person you want to say it to isn't here to hear it. Wasted. Squandered.

It's a terrible feeling, he wouldn't wish it on anyone. He wonders...maybe this is how Maya feels about her husband... He can't think of anyone better than Hanna to take up that role, he'd be so gentle with her words.]

Right, right... [His voice wobbles just a bit.] I think... I think I just need to be alone tonight, if that's alright. Go ahead without me. I'll just...stay in Bavan for the night. Not, like, in the city, but under a tree in the park somewhere...or whatever it is nymphs do.

[He wastes no time to excuse himself, getting up and heading for the door. Maya and Hanna will probably appreciate the alone time, too, to get their feelings in order. It really benefits everyone, when you think about it.]

Good luck with Hanna, I'll be rooting for you two.

IC Inbox

July 23, after Merlin's shift

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, MERLIN. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 135.18.129.14 * Merlin has joined 135.18.129.14 <merlinofcourse> ⌁˚⊹ You have reached Prince Merlin ⊹˚⌁ <merlinofcourse>** I know how to use computers now~